i'm all about them, words.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
- 9:00 PM
milestone.
this would be the 100th entry on this blog.
i was thinking of making it special, but i didnt see any need to anyways.
spend much time thinking.
spend my life believing.
i believed i could be different,
by controlling
supressing
building walls around me.
but i guess i'm just human.
not a failed example,
but an example of failure.
this is not self-pity.
more of self-expression.
i'm not saying i'm a failure.
at least not in the normal sense.
tried so hard not to fall.
those anecdotes of those who have.
just make me want to disassociate.
yet i can't bear to leave.
just another normal living being.
and so much for preaching,
about emotions and thoughts.
i'm a mile away
from being that ideal.
i'm a mile away
from looking at things that way.
the proximity
the words
the similarities
the differences
i'm returned
i'm reduced
times that hung on a thread.
times that were properly woven.
times that were spent wisely.
times that were wasted.
i'm back to square one.
why couldn't i stop this.
why wouldn't i let it happen.
the conflict of emotion within.
challenged by that spark of logic.
this is my perspective.
probably not yours.
i want exclusiveness.
i end up losing individuality.
the once thoroughly flawed.
acceptance leading to perfection.
those strings that play.
these broken strings, these broken dreams.
new found floor.
lost my steps.
to know.
to conceal.
opposites.
wishing this never began.
wishing this could end.
at least this pair would result in the same effect.
i'm not superhuman.
i guess i'm not that enchantment either.
too late to turn back.
i've already fallen
oh just ignore me.
don't worry about this.
i'm actually very fine.
just needed to get those words out of my head.
if the entry is unbearable,
sorry for leaving this disclaimer till now,
you need not read on cos it isn't,
for you.
and words can do so much.
there isn't much i need to say anymore.
if you've read till here and feel that this has been intolerable,
i shall put your suffering to an end now.
i guess i'm done. for
i can't suppress this.
taking a breather.
i guess i'm fine now.
time to continue living.