i'm all about them, words.
Friday, August 18, 2006
- 11:00 PM
wantaway
i've been faced with this huge conflict. i've recently got into touch with some of the people i havent talked to in a long time. it's pretty and pleasantly surprising i guess. talked to shao recently. agnes, perhaps someone i've never talked to in ages started a conversation. but more importantly, alvan and i had a real long talk. and i realised how i've misjudged some people. apparently i feel more comforted after the talk. cos i discovered that i wasnt the only one missing sji so much and i wasnt the only one complaining about cjc. and as i was bringing up some of those old memories we shared, i just felt so nostalgic i almost teared. oncom!
yet there's this conflict in me. although i may be on better terms with some people, i've found myself distancing away from others. i guess it's my fault. firstly cos i've been away at cambridge for too long, and secondly cos i guess i got too caught up in trying to rekindle some old friendships, i failed miserably in managing those i have. and then sometimes im just afraid.
just cant find the words to describe this tempest in my soul.
At times life is wicked and I just can't see the light
A silver lining sometimes isn't enough
To make some wrongs seem right
internal trauma. i want my lemonade machine to work again. i intend to make that my new mission. but then i was thinking, what's a guy who smiles all day, tries to brighten up people's lives, yet he himself cant see past the wall of happiness he's put in front of his own eyes. it's self-deception in a way. it's also like a facade.
inside me a storm is brewing. there's just so much pain. i'm such a letdown at times. yet what i do know is that i want things to turn out right.
Am I hiding in the shadows?
Forget the pain and forget the sorrows
rift.
Am I hiding in the shadows?
Are we hiding in the shadows?