i'm all about them, words.
Friday, February 24, 2006
- 11:00 PM
untitled
ahaha. ok. with this new blogskin, u can now see the titles of my blog entries. they were supposed to be confidential, but i guess now u can see em.
on a more serious note.. i guess the events that have taken place these few days, mainly two days ago, yesterday and today, have all been rilli life-changing. i haf been withholding a lot of my emotions and thoughts while blogging. that has gotta stop, else i wouldnt need a blog would i.
rahh rahh rahh RAHH RAHH! pouring out the feelings and thoughts from the past month. the blogskin right now would be a proper embodiment of what im feeling. haha. well.. heartbroken... but not very affected by it. once again, i haf to reiterate my point that it's hard to just walk away, forget, withdraw all the feelings i have. i hope u understand.
oh gosh. the world hasn't been very kind. i've never felt this weird before. there may be some pretence in all that i do, cos i noe im no longer supposed to be trying anymore, not supposed to be feeling whatever im feeling right now. i guess i'll try to stop.. but it'll take a while.
ok. i'd better stop here. sensitive issue. dun wanna make things so uncomfortable for everyone. well, i guess the blogskin kinda tells the whole story, so there isn't much explaining to do. i tink the whole new blogskin, new tagboard thing also connotes how im trying to move on.. apparently i'm not very successful. how how? panic panic. ahahaha. so much for being "more relaxed" (as i've said in my previous entry). im wondering why im feeling the sudden mixed emotions. i guess it took some time for the whole truth to hit me. truth. well. truth is like a blanket that always leaves yur feet cold. you push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. Kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. from the moment we enter crying, to the moment we leave dying, it'll just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream. i guess i'll try to cope with this. always trying and i probably will still be for quite a long time.
sji-sjab time. long time since i've talked abt the cca. kevin chan recently called to request ex-ncos to help in training the competition teams. i am shock... shell shocked. haha. i woudln't expect that from kevin. apparently, it was him that requested permission from marcus to have us back to help out. marcus now pouring out some of his problems with sji-sjab to me. sadly, marcus is much too reserved to solve these problems. but i guess that innocence in him is something to behold as well. we all haf our own traits that make us excel in whatever we do well. i'd probably refer this to potential ability, improvement of current ability.
alrite. my parents just gave me a whole talk abt my career choice for the future. they don't mind be wanting to teach and all, but deep inside, and with all their preaching, it's obvious the ywant me to go into law. well, they said that i'll be regretting my choice to be a teacher when all my frens become politicians, doctors etc. and then i'll feel left out when everyone starts earning twice or three times my pay. and then they go on saying that at my age, i probably wouldn't care so much abt the pay, that i'd be content with having the passion to teach, but that this would only be a phase. maybe they're right, but then maybe my passion is far greater than just a phase. ohwell.
moving on.. to something very irrelevant to the whole mood of the blog entry. lol. i cut my hair!! or at least i thinned it. so it's kinda of the same length, but not as thick as before... duh. cutting at rave wasnt such a bad idea. it's very worth it la. 12 bucks only! whoo! im gonna cut there again next time! haha. joseph got his hair cut by the ac barber. i neva knew ac had such strict rules on hair. lol. so joe's hair now looks like shit. dat's pretty sad. my sympathies. (=
okok. to end off this blog entry. i guess this is one of the longer entries i've written in a very long time. i guess it would haf been a longer entry if not for all the mixed emotions. i better get them sorted out soon.
trying to make it "the last thing on my mind"...